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Top Ten Least-Used Celebrity Metaphors

10. “… as giddy as Liberace at a shoe sale.”

9. “… more guests than you can shake an Oprah at.”

8. “… thinner than Calista Flockhart on an Ethiopian tour.”

7. “… funnier than a Fox Channel full of Wayans.”

6. “… as arresting as Martha Stewart at a stock sale.”

5. “… faster than a pool full of Spitzes (alternative usage: field full of Flo-Jos)

4. “… as unlikely as a Baldwin Oscar nomination.”

3. “… CarrotTop-esque.”

2. “… more wacko than Jacko.”

1. “… stupid is as Scientology does.”

Published in: Not a Real Letterman | on April 6th, 2006 |

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4 Comments Leave a comment.

  1. On April 6, 2006 at 8:20 am chilihead Said:

    The top three are my favorite. CarrotTop is really freaky and kind of scares me. He’s givin’ the rest of us red heads with crazy hair a bad name.

  2. On April 6, 2006 at 11:54 am Diane J. Said:

    Funny list, Joe. I particularly liked #6, but they’re all good. :)

  3. On April 7, 2006 at 4:55 am Mike Goodwin Said:

    Using shake and Oprah in the same sentence brings a bout of nausea to me. :-) Funny list, Joe, especially #1. No offense to any Tom Cruise/Scientology fans out there.

  4. On April 8, 2006 at 10:29 am Erin Said:

    How fun! 1,3,and 4. Very, very funny.

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