Play One on TV

Yesterday, my son and I had this conversation:

Matt: Dad, can I have an advance on my allowance?

Dad: What, again? What is it this time?

Matt: Well, you see, there’s this new Star Wars Lego set, only this one is different because it has not one, but two class 25 gigawatt inducers and… (Note: Rest of foaming rant is skipped out of deference to the reader. -Ed)

Dad: Um, no.

Matt: What do you mean, no?

Dad: Son, I think it’s time we started talking about your status as resident and sole heir to the Goodwin household.

Matt: Huh?

Dad: Son, I hate to say this, but I’m afraid I’m going to have to lay you off.

Matt: Lay me off? You can’t do that - the law won’t let you! I have rights! I have a contract!

Dad: I’m sorry, Matt, but with the existing economic climate, projections of slow market growth, a lack of resources for capital improvements to the living structure, and the growing burden of your conditional college fund, my analysts have concluded that I must take immediate steps to reduce outgoing cashflow.

Matt: You’re abandoning your responsibilities as my parent. I’d like to know what a judge would say about this little decision of yours. I’ll strike!

Dad: I wouldn’t bother with court, especially since I won’t advance you any allowance to hire a lawyer. Besides, a careful perusal of said contract will show that I have parental termination rights provided I give a 60-day advance notice. And if you strike, you will forfeit your generous severance package.

Matt: Oh, yeah? How much?

Dad: $100 per year of life. You’re 12 years old, so that makes…

Matt: Oh, no way. You owe me my college fund.

Dad: I’m sorry, but the contract stipulates that you must actually apply and be accepted to an institute of higher learning before said fund may be applied. As it stands, that fund is becoming a prohibitive drain on household resources.

Matt: This is another example of parents lording it over innocent children. And at Christmas, too - - you ought to be ashamed! I’ll go to the media. I’ll see you in court. You’ll be sorry!

(At this point, the conversation devolved into a vicious tickle fight - Ed)

Either my son watches more of the news than I thought, or his current affairs teacher at school has a relative affected by the General Motors shutdown.

He didn’t get the advance.