Paulina Porizkophobia
Caligynephobia is reputedly “a fear of beautiful women.”
You gotta be kidding me.
I can certainly understand being intimidated by beautiful women — ask my wife how long it took me to work up the nerve to ask for that first dance. But a full-blown, call-Doctor-Sidney-Freeman-from-M*A*S*H phobia? Unless you spent your childhood being pistol-whipped by Kathy Ireland and Heidi Klum in matching flower-print string bikinis, I’m not buying it.
I’m betting that this “condition” was invented by bored college frat brothers trying to kill time before rush week. I can just imagine them slouching into the psych clinic, barely supressing giggles and smirks, asking for several sessions of “deep immersion therapy” to counter the condition.
Now, cacophobia I can understand. Show me Sandra Bernhard in a flower-print anything and you’ll scare me into the next century.
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Very interesting blog, Joe. The thought of anyone in a flowered dress is just plain scary. OK - maybe Heidi Klum could pull it off, but for the rest of us “normal” women, it’s scary.
I’ve always observed that women most likely to wear floral prints are least likely to look good in them. I spent some time living in Guam, so my observations have been regrettably confirmed on numerous occasions.
Somehow I doubt those frat boys’ immersion would be all that deep, if you get my drift.
(Aside to Stacey: How long did it take him to work up the nerve to ask for that first dance?)
Truth be told, he never did. I had to ask him (repeatedly) to dance. I finally had the good fortune to ask him in front of a friend who, when Joe tried evade me because he was “busy with” something, said “go ahead and have a good time, Joe, I’ll take care of that for you!” I’m not sure if Joe ever forgave him for that….
I should add, he’s made up for it since. Even though I think we’ve finally danced our last “Shout”, I’ve always been able to count on him any time the opportunity arises. It gets us some strange looks sometimes.
It’s my stunning good looks, my dear. Well, it’s something involving stunning.